Tell you what, it’s a good thing we live in a temperate climate and reality is mouldable because it may take a solid 4-6 business weeks for my body to catch up to what my brain is asking it to do but eventually it does catch up and things start happening.
Point in case, I finally planted the seeds I bought in March, they are now sprouting (although I didn’t label them because though it took all of 5 months for me to get around to planting them I couldn’t wait 10 MINUTES MORE to find a way to label them so it’s anyones guess what they are) and ready to transplant, I found the berry plants I’ve been dreaming of all year and planted them THE DAY AFTER I bought them and by all this I mean to say now that summer is coming to a close spring has come to my garden.
And that’s ok! Again, temperate climate. Thank the lord.
I mean we’ve harvested like 5 things from the plants we got in the ground months ago that literally refused to grow for some reason but everything we’re planting now is thriving and we might even be growing a real lawn!
Similarly, a year after having invested in a lovely, nature based pre-k curriculum and bumbling around half assing it we are now actually getting into a rhythm, actually doing some preschool and Kensa is ACTUALLY learning to read!!
It only took us a whole year to *technically* get past the letter D. But that whole time, he has been learning and so have we. We’ve been figuring out how our daily rhythms work with two kids and work. We’ve been figuring out what it looks like to actually teach a child without subjecting them to work they aren’t prepared for. Kensa has been learning through play and we’ve followed his lead, learning the alphabet and numbers and discovering them in the world around us. All of that has brought us to the point we are now where it actually looks like we have the little Waldorfessori homeschool thing down (we definitely do not still but yknow) and it is FUN. And I don’t think we would be doing this so smoothly if we hadn’t had a slowwwww and steady buildup to it.
And what if we never gave it the chance? What if I said “Oh, I missed spring. Better luck next year I guess, no garden for us”. I mean we may not get the best yield in our autumn garden but we will will learn and practice all year. What if we forced Kensa into a schedule none of us were ready for and got burnt out, or gave up and just sent him to preschool (which theres nothing wrong with, but we are low on options and I really wanted to homeschool at least in these early years).
I’ve found all of my biggest, best, and most transformative growth in life has come through slow steady work, continual cycling back to the goal, continual trying, regrouping, and trying again.
I’ve been asked a few times lately how I ‘Do it All’ and it always makes me laugh. My answer? I don’t. Literally no one can. Any given week, month, YEAR, some things thrive while others are left to fall through the cracks. Last year, my self care and our home projects fell through the cracks while we adjusted to a new baby and new work life balance. Last month, food prep and cycle syncing was on the back burner while I caught up with work. Last week, filming and writing was set aside while I poured energy into teaching and crafting with Kensa.
So if you ever sit and look at other people and wonder “how do they do it all” and feel insufficient and certain you will never achieve everything you hope to….remember this. I’m 32. I didn’t get a smartphone until I was 22. I’ve tried to start a YouTube since I was 12 and started a blog about 5 separate times. I quit hard drugs when I was 24 and only really started treating my body well when I was 28. I couldn’t keep up with the dishes until I was 29 which is around the time I started cycle syncing and caring for my hormones. I’ve been posting on social media for 10 years, and am just now getting consistent and making a living from it. In that time I was learning photography, videography, cooking, herbalism, nutrition, self care, womens health, the power of the feminine- all the things that I am passionate about and that I have built a ‘platform’ upon have built up over time and I would not be where I am today without years of learning hard lessons. Everything has come slowly, and there have been COUNTLESS days along the way that I was convinced I had failed, was too late, had missed the boat.
The biggest thing I’m learning within this is not to let guilt for the things you aren’t doing keep you from fully entering into and enjoying the things you are doing. If you are able to focus fully on the experience in front of you and entrust the rest will get come as and when it needs to then you have a chance at actually enjoying life AND actually discovering your purpose, your drive for ‘productivity’! On the other hand, you can rush around doing ‘everything’ every day, find no joy in it and feel no presence or purpose in your own life.
Most of the time, the expectations you feel are a construct, either from yourself or society or what you think you see on social media. MOST of the time, there is no one hard and fast way that something has to be done, no single road to happiness or achievement (barring the few basic daily necessities). Hell, you can even get an extension on your taxes if you need to (*ahem* speaking from experience). When it boils down to it, the only things that are NEEDED from you every day or in a certain time frame are caring for yourself and the people that you love in the day to day. Filling your bellies, putting your feet in the earth, laughing, brushing your teeth. Pretty much everything else can wait til the right time.
This was going to be a funny little post about “in mom news this week” and my thoughts on various pop culture happenings this week but this is what I wrote instead so I guess that can wait.
I appreciate you a lot! 🤲🏼 thank you for sharing all you do
I love your positive approach to life. It's easy to get that feeling of overwhelm and remembering to reset the intention is key.